..::Bitchin' Bee::..

…make me sick.

I don’t think I will ever be able to comprehend how or why someone feels the need to lie, or make up completely asinine stories to make themselves seem superior to others. And, seeing as how I am a VERY understanding & non-judgmental person, that’s sad.

There are several people of this sort that I personally know, who just flabbergast me. I think that at times, even they believe their own made up illusions.

1. Practically everything that escapes that disgusting mouth of yours is complete bullshit. No joke. You’ve been this way since I first met you when you were just 14. And, what makes it so sad is that you make up awful stories about things no person should ever lie about- like, your ex-gf dying. Or, you having a daughter; who you give a name to and you even brag about little intricate details about her.
You’re NOT in a well-known band, and you DON’T play shows.

2. Seriously, making up ridiculous things about your childs’ achievements & milestones?! That’s almost heartbreaking. And, SO cruel for your child. Some kids learn quicker than others, yes. But, forming complete sentences at four months old is just a little hard to believe. So many things you told me about your pregnancy and child[ren] is absolutely NOT possible. It just isn’t. And, I know so many people fall for your crap & applaud you for having SUCH an advanced child. Sure, your kid is smart. Because, ALL kids are smart. And, yes, you have the right to boast about what new thing your kid has done. But, make sure they REALLY did it and don’t post all about something YOU made up just to get YOURSELF some attention.

3. Really, you slept with over 600 women including pornstars? While that IS possible, seeing as to who you are, it isn’t very likely. Even if it WERE true, it is definitely not something anyone should be bragging about. “Hey, guys! I’m a total walking-case of herpes. Wanna bone?” Uhm, no.

4. Your voice is cracking, you have ZERO body hair, and all of your friends are like, 12. Sorry, but no person with common sense is going to believe that you’re 18. Or that you have a car & license, or that you smoke & drink & get ‘all the babes’.

5. You are NOT thirty pounds less than so & so when your gut hangs out five times as much. Sorry, but a couple of inches shorter doesn’t mean a few dozen pounds lighter. Be honest about your weight, and the progress you are making. I know all bodies are built differently, and different body types CAN mean different weights & sizes. But, there IS an extent to that rule.

6. Your dude tries dumping you. Oh, you’re pregnant? Congrats. Several days later- What’s that? You ‘lost the baby’? Didn’t you just have a miscarriage last week when your former bf tried leaving your skank ass?
(BTW, I am in no way, shape, or form making fun of women who have ACTUALLY suffered such a terrible loss. I cannot imagine that kind of pain, and I personally know so many women who’ve had such a tragedy happen to them. I love you all, very much.)




Gah okay, I think I MIGHT be done ranting for now. Lol.

Just had to get some of this off of my chest.

I get upset over my appearance over & over again on a daily basis- when I look in the mirror, when I bathe, when I change, when I try on clothes, when I eat… Not just my fat, and the things I can change at home for free. But, every little thing. It eats at me. And, it’s not like I will EVER have the money to ‘fix’ myself. I wish I were rich- I would change dozens of things about myself.
Don’t get me wrong- I prefer natural beauty, I do. Some of us just weren’t blessed with it. And, some of us look like wrinkled panty-hose after having kids, myself included.
With that said, although I DO get upset or tear up daily about my looks, I haven’t been like, SUPER depressed about it in a few months. I guess because I reached a spot where I look ‘okay’ in clothes. I look decent enough to not push myself as hard. Even though this last hunk of weight will be the hardest to work off. I have been WANTING to beat myself up over it- to really cry and get to the point of hardly eating because I am so broken. And, I think I am slowly reaching that point. Because just mere minutes of signing into tumblr to type this, I suddenly felt sad. And, the only thing that came to my mind was my self esteem issues. So, I mean, that HAS to be why I am sad.

No more. By that I don’t mean no more being upset and hating myself. I mean no more stuffing my face & sitting on my ass crying over my appearance. No more simply wishing the problems would fix themselves. Okay, MAYBE I will still be wishing for that, but it ain’t very likely to happen, and I know that all too well.

Today I didn’t eat that much, but I ate the wrong stuff. I logged into myfitnesspal for the first time in over a month. And, I am hoping to do a little work out tonight.

I have only a few months ‘til bikini season officially starts up again. I need to bust my ass. Well, more so my belly, seeing as how that is my main problem area.

TOMORROW I WILL DO BETTER THAN I HAVE TODAY-
Probably black coffee and an apple for breakfast.
Low-cal soup for lunch, with a small salad.
And, dinner will be the other half of that soup, probably.
Snacks will be whatever healthy I can find.

I have noticed that if I plan out my meals the day before, it is easier to stick with them. Let’s hope I do good with that this time around! :D



For those who read this, yeah- I whine a lot. Mostly about my physical flaws. Bitching at me about it will only cause ME to bitch MORE. So, keep it to yourself.
I will post a million more times about my self-image. Okay, a million and ONE, is more accurate. Stay tuned if you are interested. Unfollow & unSTALK me if you aren’t. Kay? :)

I was on the brink of passing the eff out, but considering it is only 10:30 on New Year’s Eve & we did NOTHING, I figured I’d rebel a bit & fight my sleep long enough to type this shizz out.

2012 sucked, mostly. And, although I never seem to completely follow through with my resolutions, I figured I may as well come up with some anyway. I tried making them logical ones. Ones that I could actually work with, not anything unreachable. So, here goes….

Resolution 1- Lose another twenty pounds by this time next year. Now, while ten pounds is a little more reasonable, I wanted to push my limits a wee bit. Considering I am more than twenty pounds lighter than I was exactly a year ago, I figure it is doable! I want to get to 147, which was my prepregnancy weight, and then down to around 135 or so. That’s a great weight for my build! I want my stomach to be flat & toned. I want to be able to at least wear half of a bikini. Lol.

Resolution 2- Keep in mind that ‘this too shall pass’, with any issue I encounter, no matter how big or small. I am a worry-wart, and am constantly stressing myself out with the worst case scenario of everything. I need to react a little more calmly to the little things, like my toddler screaming and crying, or refusing to nap when I have a mile long list of MUST-GET-DONE housework!

Resolution 3- No more giving out third, fourth, or tenth chances to ANYONE anymore. I have lost a whole lot of friends this year, people I thought had my back no matter what. People I thought truly cared about me and our friendship. People I never would have expected anything negative from. I am done setting myself up for more drama, heartache, or tears. You’re either my friend or you aren’t. There’s no in-between anymore!

Resolution 4- While I try hard to be a great wife and mother, there’s ALWAYS room for improvement. No one is perfect, though. And, I need to remind myself of this daily from now on- I’ll NEVER be perfect. But, I can damn well try to get as close to perfect as possible. Never hurt to try, right?!
I need to focus on cooking my honey a wonderful, warm dinner after he’s slaved away outdoors all day. And, spend less time on FB or worrying about tedious, petty bullshit. But, more importantly, I need to spend more time playing with my not-so-baby boy. He’s growing heart-wrenchingly fast lately. Before I know it, my chances at throwing a ball with him, or slow dancing with him in the kitchen will be gone. I am already regretting not spending more time doing silly, mundane, yet SO amazing and important things with him already, and he’s barely 19 months old! I still have time, but not much at the rate they grow. So, I definitely vow to spend more family time with my guys in 2013! <3

Resolution 5- I will continue on with my wondrous ‘no-soda’ streak! Tomorrow will be SIX months that I’ve gone without drinking soda. Okay, other than the TEENSY bit that is put into our families traditional holiday punch mixture- which is only Sprite, btw. Other than THAT, it has been half a damn year already. I am proud of myself!

Resolution 6- Make more of an attempt at looking semi-decent and not like a SAHM. Lol. I really need to make more of an effort when it comes to simple things, like brushing my hair! Or wearing something OTHER than PJ’s and lounge clothes. :P

Resolution 7- Get in touch with my crafty side, even more than I did right before Christmas. It is time to paint my heart out!

& lastly, Resolution 8- I want to work on being a better person in general. Nothing major, just little imperfections I need to try fixing little by little.


Anywhooo, those who read this- you have my heart forever! ;)


HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone! Here’s to a fantastic time in 2013, for us all.

I suck, I know. BUT, I am back. I NEED to keep up with blogging. And, instead of joining some totally other mundane blog-site, I figured why not just come back to good ol’ tumblr?! :D

Ahh, I have SO many great ideas for blogs. I want to write them all out immediately, but 1. I don’t have the time for that due to being a SAHM to a toddler. And, 2. That’d annoy some of y’all, I think.

Anyway, tomorrow [or today, who knows?] I will be posting my New Year’s Resolutions for the HOPEFULLY lovely 2013!! :)